Hey everyone how is it going? Hope everyone had a Great Christmas and a Happy and Safe New Years! Thought I would pop in to say Hello and update, for those of you who are interested.
Dont know what I told you last time but anyway....My ex married is young 27 yr. old girlfriend and got her preggy in the same month as he married her. They now have a son. As for my son he still lives with dad and NEITHER of them talk to me. Wouldnt matter to me if my ex talked to me but I dont think my son is gonna change until he sees that his dad doesnt hate his mother any longer. Yes my ex hates me as far as I know. It apparently was my fault that my husband had to leave our marriage and committ adultry. It ALL was my fault as far as they are concerned. I do wish I would not have sent my son to live with my ex and his new woman. Everyone screams tough love, but in this case it has torn us apart. I am working two jobs and going on with my life. Everyone says my ex and his new wife will not last.....i dont know, at this point all I am worried about is my son. I pray for all of them everyday. I am standing still to see what God has in store but living my life as well.
oh and I wanted to ask where i can find my old posts. I would love to read them.
Hi Chica......glad to see you post.....you can find your old posts by clicking on your screen name and select view posts....are you and Jeremy still seeing each other? I am still reading in here and praying, and praying for all that find themselves in here. Still standing....... and God does heal our hearts Be blessed.....Irma
Hey Irma how have you been? Yes I am still with Jeremy. Irma dont let anyone or anything shake your Faith! Remember Job? Things will be thrown your way so be prepared and prayed up. God is so good. I am praying for peace with my ex husband so I can have a relationship with my son. They both do not speak to me. I miss my son soooo much. BUT I know my God is working and our relationships will be healed in HIS time. I am praying for God's will to be done in ALL situations because GOD's WILL is the right WILL! I have tried to catch you on the alt but always seem to miss you. Anything new?
God Bless You and Keep Standing Until God Says Otherwise!!!!
Love ya Chick! Renee
PS......Snodderly and Sandy would love for you to check in with me!
I hope so. They along with others played a major part in my Living for Me Again! Jack T. B. would love to hear from you too. How long does the hatred go on......really??????
I am sure missing your son is just devastating. You need to turn to your faith at this time and try your best to keep in touch with your son. Your son is old enough to make his own decisions. Unfortunately he has been tainted by your XH actions and words. You be the best mom you can be at this point. Write to him, send him card and express how blessed you are to be his mom. You are always going to be the parent and he the child no matter how old he gets. That means it is always up to you to make or keep contact going. A mother's love can never really be replaced, especially with a son.
You are in my prayers and God Bless.
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Lorie thanks! I do try, but it only makes him angry. I sent him presents for Christmas and he sent them back. Yes he is old enough to make his own decisions, but in his eyes his dad is his Hero and always has been. SO if dad sees it this way, it must be so. He has adapted to his new life with dad and his new step-mom and left me behind. It is NOT fair because I am missing out on his dating life and all the fun things he is doing. BUT I HAVE given it to the Lord and he will fix it. I am just grieving in the meantime. My son wont evern talk to anyone who is friends with me. So that tells me he is trying to put me in the back of his mind and doesnt want to be reminded of anything. I guess maybe this might be his way of dealing with the divorce. I dont know but it sure HURTS. I love him and send him emails telling him so. He blocks me from everything else. I will continue to love him and pray for him and his new family. God is SO good, I know he is in Charge!
HB, Sorry that I didnt mention my sons age, He is 20, was 18 at the time of the divorce, I had to ask him to go stay with his dad because I could not get him to do anything and he was becoming disrespectful. The day after he left to go to his dads he came back to get some of his stuff and hugged me and told me it was prb for the best that he needed this. We talked by phone and I saw him a few times after that, (they only live around 3 miles from me), then he changed his number and slowly stopped talking to me and grew angry. The stepmom and I had words and my son called me a liar when I tried to explain.....untelling what they are putting in his head. Anyway my ex didnt marry the ow he left me for, she was already married, but he met his now wife soon after. I dont think he takes anything out on her though, he follows her around like a puppy and treats her like Gold. As far as trying to forget his past life with me, I agree. He told me once he wanted to forget I exsisted. He is trying to build himself a new life and family. He refusses to speak to me about our son. HB, I dont know if my ex realizes he made a serious mistake or not? He dont act like he did I rarely see them, so i dont really know.
You may be right; your exhusband, and his wife may very well be filling your son's head with crap about you.
He will figure it all out given time; the knight in shining armor becomes the knight in tarnished armor, all in good time.
Heroes rise and fall everyday.
No matter what happens, you are STILL his mother. In the meantime, you will have to leave him alone, as he's a grown man, now.
I will say this; you don't know what goes on behind closed doors in people's houses..so you really can't say for sure that your husband is not taking his anger out on his wife.
He is still in MLC; and the actions of the MLC'er don't stay "hidden" for very long, before they resurface again.
Just because he remarried doesn't necessarily mean he's "out"...given time, the new will wear off...and things will get bad again; only this time it will NOT be you on the receiving end.
I was looking at your timeline; and it seems his wife got pregnant right off the bat, didn't she?
Honey, from what I can see, you'll need to let go of everything; and get on with your life...your ex husband has remarried; so that closes the door for standing, or it does in my opinion.
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Yes he is old enough to make his own decisions, but in his eyes his dad is his Hero and always has been. SO if dad sees it this way, it must be so. He has adapted to his new life with dad and his new step-mom and left me behind. It is NOT fair because I am missing out on his dating life and all the fun things he is doing.
You'll need to let go of that aspect, you can't "make" your son have anything to do with you; but you can continue to pray for him.
My son is 24 now; and I don't "keep up" with everything he's doing, unless he calls me and lets me know what is up.
He's been on his own since May of last year; and in some ways, though I'm out on the road most of the time, I still miss him; but I KNOW he's taking care of himself...doesn't ask us for anything in the way of help...just has a few questions from time to time on something he's never seen or experienced before.
He doesn't date anyone; I don't think he will until he's ready to try and find "The One".
He does home improvements on his house; and works fulltime in a machine shop as a lathe operator. He's a good, responsible man..we are very proud of him; he's done well.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
