I was doing good the last 2 days but im getting very sad again. My son told me h wants him to come over tomorrow to give him his xmas gifts. I asked son if ow will be there, he said he didnt know. It makes me think that h is very serious about the ow if he is having my son be around her. This really kills me to have my innocent son witness this craziness. I dont want him around her. Should i let him go? i dont want to. should i text h and tell him therapist said son should not be around her for his mental health.
Do you have children? I don't want my son to be around that woman. I dumped my coffee on her car the other day when i went to get son. i was so angry h took son and nephew there, with her there.
rys, I understand this is the worst thing to you. But it isn't. Being estranged from your son would be the worst thing. You never want that to happen. Some things you really can't control. You can't do anything about him being around her. You can voice your concern, and you know that they already know your concern.
If you try to control this, you will have the opposite of your desired effect. You will drive your H further away from you. And worse, you will likely push your son away. The goal is to build the warmth and connections.
I know it's incredibly hard for you. It's time, though rys, to put the actions there for you.
God gives us our miracles, but we have to cooperate with him. If He starts to open a window, don't slam it shut.
If you acted all happy to take him there and really did a 180, your H would probably drop his jaw. Why not shock him. Really wake this man up.
You can do it, you know.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
I just feel that this is a lost cause somethimes. H is planning on marrying this woman. I was doing very good for 3 days really focusing on myself. I ordered the Tony Robbins NLP tapes, I want this to be a good year and forget his craziness. But sometimes I fall back into negative thinking about h.
Rather than spending money on self-help tapes, have you honestly looked into getting professional help for yourself? Your H has been seeing this woman for a long while and if you keep doing things like spilling coffee on her car, that's going to make you look like the psycho. Sorry for that analogy, but it's the truth.
Your son will see that too. In fact, I would be afraid to be with you. You need to get yourself healthy first. Talk to someone about you. Not your marriage. Not your husband. Not the other woman. YOU.
Only you have the power to make yourself well.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
thanks very much for this encouraging reply. Do you ever speak to your xh?
Not much at all. He is just now calling his children once in awhile. He has only seen them every few years. He has always written them brief cards, sent them a little money here and there, sometimes Harry Potter books way back when. He is very bitter. He remarried for about two years and they divorced. My daughters never met her.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
