It is so nice to have a room to myself and also chill out space to myself. Just stuff like watching TV and being able to read a magazine on my bed and even getting to sit on a sofa that isn't minging all stuff you learn to appreciate!!
It is so funny how little I think about exh anymore. Well, I should say it is so great how little I think about him. I ended up answering the email he sent me before Christmas asking what I was up to. I felt the right thing to do was to tell him. So I did, I told him about the paradise that was Port Douglas, what fun I had there, about my travels in Perth and all the amazing things I had seen, my train trip to Sydney and Melbourne and how I was really looking forward to spending Christmas in Sydney with the guy I had been dating in PD and celebrating new year in Melbourne with my friends. I read it before I sent it and thought, what a wonderful alternative to what life could have been. I haven't heard from him since not even at Christmas. Yay!
Joe has been in contact since Christmas. He seems to like chatting on the phone with me and I sorted out his CV for him too. I am being very laid back about it all and seeing what happens. He said again how much he had enjoyed Christmas with me and that he misses me. I was a bit worried when I left him as there were drugs around where he was staying. He told me that he had found it really difficult but he had not taken any, even when one of the guys physically forced one in his mouth. He spat it out and left. I was really proud of him and told him so. He said that getting through that made him feel that he knew he could resist and get through it. I am there to be his friend and support him if he wants it. It has been 7 months for him now and I am proud and pleased for him.
I really feely like I am regaining my confidence again and dealing with a lot of my insecurities. It was hard to have my insecurities surface but I am so glad to be able to get them sorted. Just being me again feels good.Stoppi.ng worrying so much about everything feels good
I have work next week! Yippee! Then only a month till my sister comes out. I spoke to my family and best friend the other night and I felt very loved. My BF misses me and Mum and Dad were so pleased to chat, they said there had been a big hole in the Christmas celebrations where I should have been. I also spoke to my eldest sister and we had a lovely chat. I had sewn 2 cushion covers for my niece and nephew. My niece has her story on hers every night and my nephew, who is 8 so I wasn't sure how it would go down, apparently loved his and cuddled it and now sleeps on it in bed. I'm really pleased!
It's funny because I felt so alone for so long, that being with exh was the only way I felt loved but looking around there are so many people that care. Being away has really shown me that. Soppiness over
all stuff you learn to appreciate!!
not even at Christmas. Yay!