I backslid today...when I talked to my BFF she helped me realize that any time I have contact with H then I seem to begin blaming myself for everything that has happened all over again. My best cure is NO CONTACT. I asked her the following question:

Is it possible that H has stopped engaging in the sexual addictive behaviors since he finally got rid of me?

These are the thoughts that go through my mind. I am the reason, he is happy because he is rid of me. I know that I am projecting - I know that I am being crazy. NO ONE engages in the things he did whether they are unhappy or not.

Sometimes I think these moments are somewhat healing because the more I put words to these feelings the more I can counter them.

I am going to get through this!!


M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years
Ds-24,22/S-18
D - 3/11
A Day at a Time