Having a really hard time...

[Denver_2010]

Okay, here's the 2x4. Are you fighting for your marriage or not? If you want it you have to fight for it. That includes showing that what you have together is worth something. All you're doing with the L is protecting yourself.

Giving her everything which may include your future wages is incredibly naive. Don't be surprised if she starts going after your retirement. You never know what the WAS is capable of doing. The L is just to protect what's yours and not whats joint. But hey that's your decision.

Bond is right man. You have to protect yourself here. No offense, but to your W, you probably seem very weak... which you may be right now. It is your mind and body reacting to a horrible tragedy. But you have to realize that and stand up for yourself. EVERYTHING in your M is worth something... and I'm not just talking about objects. Show her that you are capable and willing to stand for yourself and your M.

I completely understand not wanting to rock the boat with W more. I am in the same position. Waiting for W to file D or LS papers. She brought it up the other night and this is how I handled it. I told her that I would not help her leave our M and our family by jointly filing for LS or D or by paying for the filing (wife is having $ problems). I told her that if she chose do it, that I would cooperate, but that I would be letting my attorney handle it. W got irritated that I have attorney on board and asked me why am I "going to try and screw her over". I said 'no, not trying to do that. I want to make sure that we are both treated fairly if D or LS takes place, that I want to separate myself from the process as much as possible, BC I DO NOT WANT DIVORCE AND DO NOT THINK IT IS THE RIGHT THING FOR US TO DO. MY CHOICE IS TO FIGHT FOR M.". I said this very nicely to her and left it at that.