Hi, again. I asked for a bump because I had a new, fairly long post and it didn't show up. Anyway, I was trying to add to and clarify my situation. In no particular order:
I AM NOT moving out. Evidently, she doesn't plan on it either, until the D is final.
Yes, we still sleep in the same bed. She even slides all the way over to my side until we are touching. I will turn on my side away from her, and she will slide up against me again. This is how we fall asleep every night.
If she does what she said she would, I should be getting served papers any day now.
I have purchased TDR and DB, as well as the Shirley Glass book. Going ahead with trying to better myself, and my own life. Just not sure if it will be with her, or without her.
Had a small talk with her New Years Eve Day. She was in a really bad mood from the moment she came out of the bedroom. Every answer was really short and terse. After one particularly nasty remark, I told her I would not allow her to talk to me that way. If she did, I would get up and leave the room. She made some remark about leaving. I then said, I do not want a divorce. But I will not stand in your way of leaving. BUT, I will not cooperate or help you in any way. If you want to do this, you will do it on your own. She replied with Legally, you have no choice. My response was Do what you have to do then. And I left the room. No further talk about our R or the D since that time.
I am trying to detach, but as you all know it's very hard. I'm not sure whether to engage in conversation or not. It's never about anything serious, just endless small talk mostly on her part. I try to seem aloof. Not sure if that is the right move at this point, or not. Do I detach? Or try to capitalize and emphasize the good times when they are happening (small as they may be)?
I need to know, do I tell her that I know about her EA? I got the records from our carrier yesterday. 2500 texts between the two of them in about 8 weeks. Plus a secret call or two almost every day. I am almost certain that we would at least have a chance if the OM wasn't in the picture - but he is and she seems to be obsessed with her ideas of this relationship (fantasy? or means to escape?). Almost seems to be protective of THAT relationship over her marriage. Do I say anything?
What about my kids (26,23,21). They don't know W has asked for a D. Do I tell them? When? What about her EA - do I tell them about that?
I know that I am in a long process here, and it is just starting. I also know that there is a good chance that D is probable (at this point). Time to worry about that later. Right now I just need to know how to handle the info for the kids, and whether or not I come clean on knowing about the EA. Any help here would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
