The 180 is confusing to me because I'm supposed to change and do what I used to do in the beginning of our R which was listen and be attentive. On the other hand I'm also not supposed to contact her much and make her "miss me". These two things seem to go against each other.
You catch a squirrel doing things that make it curious and want to come around, not by chasing it. Part of the lure is backing off and getting on with being a better person. She will notice as long as there are some windows of opportunity. The changes must be genuine and not superficial acts for her benefit. If you want to work things out, you must be willing to put the work into yourself.
If and when she does come around, let her initiate and then listen carefully and validate. "I get the feeling something is on your mind, do you want to talk about it?" is not letting her initiate, it is trying to get her to talk.
Reframe the two things. They are not conflicting. The first is a strategy to get her to come around, the other is to keep her coming back for more.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
