Im going Monday to see a lawyer, more about the financial situation, we have bills etc, and of course she brings up child support everytime. I need to do whats right for my S, but i can barely afford the bills let alone live. Ive done just about everything i could, sold my truck, driving a beater. saves me some but not enough. I also need more time with my S. Even though he is so young, he doesnt know who he wants to go with when i pick him up, and the same when i drop him off. IMO the back and forth is worse than a 50/50 at this point in his life. I have a very aggressive female Lawyer who got my friend in almost a similiar situation great results. Neither me or my friend wants a divorce, just have to protect ourselves.
Sandi, havent heard from you in a while, what should be my next step.
Forrest Gump what happend to you as well? You are one of the top here on the board in my opinion....
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
I read back over your old thread to see what you done the last time to R the M. However, you never said.....and just stopped posting. I don't know anything "new" to say, but if you know what worked last time....that would seem like a good place to pick up.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I read back over your old thread to see what you done the last time to R the M. However, you never said.....and just stopped posting. I don't know anything "new" to say, but if you know what worked last time....that would seem like a good place to pick up.
I actually posted in the success stories, and it was removed for some reason. I believe they sent me a message explaining, cant remember. Do you think the same would work when the child is involved this time?
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
Well, right off hand I can't think of any reason having a child would change what worked the last time.
Well basically i didnt do anything since she didnt speak to me for 3.5 months. I did send flowers once i believe but that was before i came to this site.
Sandi, i wish you could call some of these WAS and give them some insite....
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
You've lost me. I don't understand what you're saying. You didn't "do anything"? Then how did the two of you get back together?
I guess you can say i just lived my life, the day i got an offer on the house, she called me up, said she didnt want to be 39 and divorced, i love you, i want to work this out. I told her i had an offer on the house, and she said do not sell it, i love our home. This happened after NC for 3.5 months.....
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
Just read through your thread. My overall observation is that your wife doesn't respect you. Women are generally not attracted to men they do not respect.
You allow her to speak to you and treat you like s***, but worry that you might be too mean in return.
You are keeping your composure very well however, so that is good. My recommendation for you is to learn how to establish strong boundaries. Some resources for doing so, especially for men:
All of the DB/DR material you can get your hands on. Additionally:
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Last edited by dbmod; 09/23/1201:57 AM. Reason: *reference not recommended or allowed
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
Reading ROBX thread, concerning texts etc. When she calls i usually do not answer, to see if she leaves a message if its that important. However when she texts concerning the baby, like how is he doing? Is a response required? Its like if i had a problem, i would contact her.
The last time we seperated, she had SA drawn up basically trying to get out of maintaining the payments on the house. I remember going back and forth about signing it, and honestly cant remember signing it, so i texted her asking if i did, she said she couldnt remember, now she is texting asking why, and calling but leaving no message. I do not think a response is required as well........
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
If she is truly checking in on the baby, she should call (ie. make the effort but no need to tell her that). You don't always check your text messages and can't guarantee an immediate response by text.
Set this as a boundary, then no longer do you need respond to texts. If she calls, she needs to stay on topic. You stay polite, friendly, but no R discussion. You end the call fisrt because you are busy and have more important things to do than chit chat with her.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
