Big talk tonight. I am a wreck, need support.

[hope2011]

I want to add, we saw an MC a year ago when we started having frequent arguments over the house, bills, etc. I asked the mc if he was a SBT therapist, he said he was but was horrible. He was afraid to talk to H about his issues because H gets defensive so he focused on mine because I'm more willing to talk. Which became a bash W session every week for 6 weeks and that just fueled H's issues with me. There was talk about how to save the marriage, work on things, no positivity at all. Just venting. It was HORRIBLE, we'd yell and scream and cry at every session and got nowhere. And then he'd repeat back to us what he thought we said and it never made sense at all. We both think he was smoking something. We'd leave the sessions, look at each other, still angry and ask "did you understand anything he just said" and neither of us did. I'm in the medical field, I know medical jargon even I was clueless. So now H flatly refuses to go see anyone again, even on his own. It was his one and only experience with therapy and he won't even discuss it now. We both need it, together and alone. Life is really hard right now, marriage and everything else. I'm afraid if I go alone, he'll view me as talking about him for an hour and I don't think his esteem can handle it.