Kissak - Funny how we are still the first person to go to when they need something, when they are in trouble or when they need advice....they trust us....unbelievable how they figure that that's OK after what they have done and they think that we are still there for them...
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
It is funny and sad all at the same time. He and I have pretty much grown up together, been through alot...even though my H may appear to be detached from me, I dont think he is or ever will be.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I thought it was time to reread those emails between my H and the Other women....sometimes I need to read them to remind me what kind of person he really is. What I hate is I see him treating me like one of his OW now. Just by the way he talks to me. Calling me "dear" and wishing me "hugs and kisses" and calling me "beautiful". He did this with all those women. Telling them that he misses them and loves them. One that sticks out in my mind is a 50ish year old woman that sent him an email saying "Im sorry for bothering you, but I dont understand how you could tell me all the things you want to do to me and saying your in love with someone else"
I think each and every day that I am apart from him, helps me see him more clearly....love is blind right? Could I have been so blind to see him having ongoing Relationships with so many women while with me? How can he hide this so easily? How can he fool so many women?
Just thinking out loud today....I know, quit thinking about him...but when I am alone at work, working all I do is think!!! and sometimes its easier to think about this stuff than other stuff that is on my mind....
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Try not to be too hard on yourself. I don't think they ever go away from us entirely. The feelings will appear now and then, even the hurtful ones. It's a sign of our relationship with them. The memories and feelings come and go, and I believe the key is to be with those feelings and let them be for what they are without beating ourselves up or giving ourselves some "credit." Just be.
Thanks Bruce. I think I have been handling those feelings better than I use to.
Today I am feeling a little anxious. THinking about the weekend. My kids will be with their dad. I have a feeling he will take them to see the OW. Im sure in his mind its been long enough now he can safely take them around her. I will try to be ok with it. Just as long as there will be no sleepovers. Still, its making me anxious. I am trying to find something to do this weekend to help keep my mind off of it.
Pray for me please. Having some finanical difficulites now....aside from having to take on more responsibilities for home expenses, business has slowed down and Im going further in debt....I have a tough decision to make...either close my business, or try to sell it...SOON. Im afraid I wont make it till the summer...then I have NO idea what to do. Im just trusting in God to take care of me.
Im trying to fight the urge to blame all of this on my H. My business was fine 4 years ago...I was just getting loans paid off and vehicles....him leaving set me way back....now? He is making good money and has someone who pretty much is taking care of him...he is doing good financially this time around...I am not.
I feel so alone
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Today I am feeling a little anxious. THinking about the weekend.My kids will be with their dad. I have a feeling he will take them to see the OW. Im sure in his mind its been long enough now he can safely take them around her. I will try to be ok with it. Just as long as there will be no sleepovers. Still, its making me anxious.
Stay in the moment. Let the weekend take care of itself and focus on what you can control. Yes, it would be crappy for him to take the kids to see her, but unless he is putting them in danger, there isn't much you can do about it.
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I am trying to find something to do this weekend to help keep my mind off of it.
Good! This is where it's at.
I'm praying for you as far as the business and financial stuff goes.
Kissak - Unfortunately there is nothing we can do when our WS want to introduce the OP...as you know My H had OW there for his Holiday dinner with D....yes it hurts...you feel like you are loosing your whole family to this OW....we must let it go....it is what it is....let karma do it's work...and I have a feeling that your H's OW is not going to be around for long if H keeps up his sex additions...
As for the weekend...plan something nice for yourself....you could use a little pampering.
(((hugs)))
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
H got the kids last night for a little while. TOok the kids to his parents and ate with them. When he brought them home he hung around hoping I would be intimate with him...I just ignored all looks from him. I guess he got the hint...he finally left.
He was talking about needing money....I have no idea what he is doing with his money, he makes plenty to take care of himself. He only pays 250 in rent and that includes utilities and he doesnt even stay there. He left my house to go pay his rent then went on to the OW's house.
My walking partner at night told me that he heard that the OW had sex issues much like my H. Not sure if that is good or bad. They may end up being made for each other. I pretty much believe that my H would put up with a cheating spouse. Sad, but true.
well...the weekend is about here. Got an interesting business proposal from a friend who use to have a business in the area. She wants to maybe become a silent partner with me....she has money to invest and doesnt want me to close my business. We have a dinner meeting saturday night to discuss further. Im kinda excited, yet nervous. This lady isnt liked well by my H or his family, but it well known and liked by many others in the community. BUt I have to worry about me and my business right now. I have to do what ever I can to keep the doors open until hopefully the economy picks back up. This woman has the know how and is good at marketing and bringing people in.....Pray for me please!!!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Hope all is well with you and I pray that business picks up for you and that the silent partner deal works out.
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My H decided to call me yesterday to tell me about the married woman that he had an affair with (although he denys it was during the time we were together) she called him and left a message on his work phone and personal phone yesterday.
Question for you Kissak – why did you listen to the conversation?
Here is what I think (FTR, I am not a professional, just some Rican dude that lives in CT)…
You listened because you still do not feel comfortable cutting off the conversation. You are afraid that you will upset him. If it were me, I would politely say to him…”listen H, I really do not have time nor do I care to discuss this with you – I have to go – thank you”. Until you realize that everything that is DONE to you, you ALLOW and to some extent can control you will continue to struggle with this.
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He thought I would find it just as weird as he did. Well, what does he expect?
IMO, HE expects that you will help him NOT have to FACE the consequences of HIS Actions. The really issue that all of us LBS must face is….why do we care? When will we say to ourselves enough is enough. That is not to say be a b*tch – no it is to say that we are special and we too have a God given right to not have to deal with people or conversation that we feel are not in our best interest. Standing for what we believe in is the hard part.
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I would like to know why he wants to discuss her with me
Comes a time that you will not give a chit…why. BUT I think Mila said it best (if we must have an answer)…
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they trust us
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even though my H may appear to be detached from me,I dont think he is or ever will be.
He will be “attached” as much as YOU allow him to be. Remember Detachment is for who?
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I feel so alone
First, you’re not alone.
Second, embrace it….embrace your independence because it is here in this place, this lonely place that you will find who YOU really are. Who you are when the chips are stacked against you, when all seems lost, when the business is not flowing, it is here Kissak that you will find your true strength. I know I see it….
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he hung around hoping I would be intimate with him
Ya know YOU do not have to allow him to hang around. Kissak, this is your life, deal with him in a manner that YOU feel comfortable with.
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Pray for me please
YOU and Many others always are!
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
well...the weekend is about here. Got an interesting business proposal from a friend who use to have a business in the area. She wants to maybe become a silent partner with me....she has money to invest and doesnt want me to close my business. We have a dinner meeting saturday night to discuss further. Im kinda excited, yet nervous. This lady isnt liked well by my H or his family, but it well known and liked by many others in the community. BUt I have to worry about me and my business right now. I have to do what ever I can to keep the doors open until hopefully the economy picks back up. This woman has the know how and is good at marketing and bringing people in.....Pray for me please!!!!
You are absolutely right! YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS - NOT IF YOUR H LIKES THIS WOMAN OR NOT!!!
I wish you so much luck! Prayers are with you!!!
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
