Am I piecing? Just can't tell 2...

[Harrier]

Okay.

I'll spill what happened on NYE that derailed us. So most of the day was great. My wife went into her work our 1/2 day. My sons and I had lunch with her. Then we went to some First Night event downtown. She took our 4-year-old ice skating for the first time. Everything seemed good. I was a little grumpy about the fact that she went into work and I watched the kids then she was kinda nit picky. But I worked through it.
I picked up dinner and everything was grand.

Around 10:30 my wife announces that she is going upstairs to read for a bit, but that she will be back before midnight. I get a little peeved at this and because of here working that day and she can see it. But I keep it under wraps. About 10 min later I get a txt from here "are you po'ed at something?"

I debate telling her. Then I stupidly decide to say something. I said "I'm a little upset that we didn't have sex tonight." (Keep in mind this is only 2 days after we had sex for the first time in 9+ weeks) It was soooo flipping stupid of me. Okay that sets here off and we end up fighting right through midnight. She also said that "she WAS planning on ML with me, but just wanted to read a little." So I'm a even bigger idiot.
She says this sets us back "four steps," but didn't kick me out of the bedroom after I offered.

I am still beating myself up for this. For one, it violates the DB principles. Secondly, I shouldn't even be mad at all. I should be f'ing grateful that she even wanted to ML on Wednesday and not pout because we didn't do it on my timetable on Friday. Third she was WILLING TO ML that night.
So yesterday, I finally asked her about being distant (I know, I know not Dbing) she said that she is having a rough patch and needs to work through it. So I do the only smart thing I've done. I till her I'll give her all the space she needs.

I now have 2 pressing issues. One I am so mad at myself I cannot think straight. I really just want to punch myself in the face. I don't think I've ever been this mad at myself.
Secondly, why did I feel this way? I shouldn't have. But I was caught looking to the future instead of enjoying the moment. I'm really good at giving you advice SBH, but terrible at taking it.

So I need forgive myself and talk to my IC about this issue.

Anywho, today was fine and she was her normally friendly self. She actually just called me and we had a nice convo. But I expect nothing and will just enjoy that.