H came home in a playful mood, prepared him some food while he showered anthen i went to bed. He was all over me has been a few weeks so was up for it, but lets just say it was me he was ML to didnt care how i felt or if i was hurt just wanted his way, i was crying halfway through and even that didnt stop him or question how i am feeling (i think the tears say it all), after he had finished i slept (for want of a better word)downstairs, H came down and told just to get to bed, i told him theres no way i am sleeping next to him right now, i also said if i only thought you were seeing someone else before i definatetly know you are now, it did not feel nice at all it was like you were ML to someone else and you got caught u in your fantasy of that person and didnt care that i am in front of you and that it should be me you were ML too, i reminded him how he has done this once in the past and then i found out about him cheating on me and how i now feel the exact same way, he just said he's not talking to me here and will only talk if i go back to bed, i didnt go i couldnt go.
I dont want ot use the r.a.p.e word but i DID NOT enjoy last night in any way.
This morning i am extremely tired, i have to wake up very early (before the birds even :0)) to get ready for work needless to say i hardly slept, i have so many emotions and thoughts running through me right now i dont even know were to begin, i so need to heal myself before i can even look at this so called M, nice way to start the year
