I met my husband 4+ years ago in a club, fell in love almost instantly. Soon after he got a job and relocated to this new country for me (I was from Hong Kong, working in China, he was from Serbia, working for projects in China). And a bit more than a year after we met, I was pregnant and got married. Now our son is 2 years old.
I felt like I was the only one caring for the family, like a gazillion other wives out there. He doesn't do much around the house (we have maids to clean and take care of the kid), he doesn't spend much time with us but hide behind the computer (he's a programmer). He doesn't speak the language so everything comes down to me. I got frustrated on a daily basis. I started to get more and more angry at him and started to have to rely on sleeping pills to fall asleep. When the pills don't work I started to drink on top of the pills. There's usually a period of time after I have taken the pills and haven't been able to fall asleep, and would yell at him and raise huge fights. Said some hurtful things.
At one point, I realize I can't go on like this anymore. So I urge him to find a counselor for us to go in together. At that point our tension was very strong. After 2 sessions, I quit all drinking and pills. That might have surprised him as he have told friends and counselor that I can't change. I wanted to prove that my drinking and pills was never the real problem. And I quit cold turkey, relatively easily. (in fact that's the easiest part)
During the time I quit my pills and drinking, he moved his office out of our apartment. And doesn't come home much at all. He works very long hours and refused to really talk to me about anything. At that time he told me he needed time to think, but from what I felt like he had already got his mind all set up. He told his friends that he wants out of the marriage.
After a period of crying and begging and all those you are not supposed to do, I started to try doing DB. His dad is coming to spend Orthodox Christmas with us tomorrow. Which he feels that daddy is coming to tell him not to get a divorce.
Sorry I have been rumbling on and could be quite confusing to read. Anyhow, I have stopped the crying phase and have been acting happy. That confused him a bit but doesn't quite get the desired response. As far as I can remember, the first time I put on a less than sad face, he came to tell me he wanted a divorce for sure. Second time was yesterday, he told me about his apartment search. I am confused as hell myself.
