I fit the description of the WAW, but HE left .

[Queen_of_Swords]

Thanks for your kind response. It seems when you need the most help, it's farthest away sometimes.

Things are forcing my hand. Financial problems requiring a formal separation agreement. I am not happy. I hope it has a paradoxical effect on the WAS, but I don't know anymore. He's so distant, silent, and emotionally dead/detached.

I have done a lot of work on myself in the last 9 months and made incredible and effective progress. He acknowledges the changes he's seen in me, few though they may be from his POV, as he's not around that much. He only really sees me when he picks up and drops off the kids mainly.

I did find out something valuable this past week though. He is taking every word I say as a dig/criticism. For example: He did something thoughtful and I thanked him, and I added I knew that the act was an inconvience to him. It was my attempt at acknowledging his effort and kindness.

He took it as a dig against him. So we had a calm and short discussion about intent, truth, reality and perspectives. How what he may think is a dig may not be one at all, and if he's e questioning it, then please ask me to clarify. It went well ( I thought). I used the analogy of a traffic collison viewed by five people at different vantage points, how they all see the collision, but they'll all have different stories because they see the same thing but from different locations.

I then respectfully asked him to please assume I am behaving above board with kindness and sincerity and not malice.

It hurts to know he thinks the worst of me.
I honestly don't know how it's come to the point where he sees every word/action/contact as a negative experience with potential meanness behind it. It saddens me greatly. I have absolutely nothing to gain in being vindictive or mean.
I have never been either in my perspective, but I guess criticisms over time have that effect on a person.