I am so sorry your dad won't be going home, Wii. Is that an absolute definite? Still thinking about you and praying for your dad.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Thanks NH and EH! We went as a family today to visit my Dad. After seeing so many people standing around his bed waiting to visit (there were 6 of us) he became tearful. He said to me that he's nearing acceptance of what is to come but isn't quite there yet. It takes time, he only found out he had terminal cancer a week and half ago and only two days ago they said no chemo. When we left STBX hugged him and he held her and they talked. STBX walked away wiping tears from her eyes (she never cries) and blowing her nose. On the way home she told me she wasn't going to take a course this January because of Dad's situation. She's known my Dad for 20 years, so it's nice to see she still considers him "Dad". She also lost her Dad eleven years ago in the same way. It's sad. Last night I FB'd a woman from another church who I keep in touch with, she and her husband (I keep in touch with him too)and I were in a prayer group together. She told me that she's in the same boat with her Dad. Everywhere you turn people are hurting. Yup, a happy new year so far. And what's even worse, my family discount at my favourite clothing store expired Jan 1 and my brother doesn't work there anymore. Can't God at least give me my freakin' discount card at least! That's not asking for much, is it?
Still don't have my family discount card...nice job God! Anyway, today was a busy day. I went to church in the morning, did some grocery shopping, went to visit Dad this afternoon, and went to the evening church service. Dad gave me hell for coming in so much and running around. I told him that tonight's service was on the topic of pain and suffering which I thought was a must not miss for some reason! The Pastor let me borrow a hymn book to take to Dad. My Dad has sang in church choirs for over 65 years and I thought it might be comforting for him to have a hymn book to look through when he felt like it. He also likes to look through hymn books from other denominations, Pastor said this hymn book will fit on both counts. Pastor also asked me if I'd like him to visit my Dad. I said thanks but Dad's got Pastors coming out his ears these days, which is a blessing indeed! Tonight I've been looking on the libraries web site trying to find some audio CD's of authors Dad likes. He finds it very difficult on nights he can't get to sleep. He can't even get up to walk around (he doesn't have the strength at this point and he has too much gear attached to him). So I suggested an audio book or two might help as he has my CD player. So tomorrow I'm going to pick up my audio book choices at the branch near my house. If Dad uses them then that's great,if not that's fine too. I might just download them and run them off on CD-R's so if he loses them it won't matter. So, one day at a time, that's all any of us can do...and really all any of us should ever do, now that I think about it.
One day at a time indeed, Wii. May I suggest a really good novel by Frank Delaney, Ireland. He reads it as well. It's by Harper Audio, and we listened to it from Vancouver Island to St. Louis in Missouri, and back again.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
The book looks interesting Being Me (I was thinking of downloading it to the E book reader i bought on boxing day but I've spent enough already!)but I've already got him Never Look Away by Lynwood Barclay and The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. That should keep him going for a little while at least! Today, I got a hair cut, got my watch band adjusted and picked up Dad's CD's. I was going to see a movie, True Grit, but I went for a nap and it didn't happen, another day maybe. Dad has a ton of visitors today so Mom told me to take a day off. I'm still tempted to drive down and see him this evening. We'll see. Btw Being Me, I'm reading "Spirituality for the rest of us" (one of my e-reader downloads). Good read.
I have an e-reader that H bought for me in China (of all places). Works on android. Not sure from where I can download books. Must sort it out before I leave for Europe ... would be nice to have something to read on the plane.
PS Listen to your mother.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
wii, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers.
Comfort and stregth to you all.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I have to agree with your Mom. As you know, I have had many long, long days for months on end sometimes with my son in hospital and also my Mom. The one thing I know is that you can really get drained - physically and emotionally. Once in a while you need to get out of that scene. As long as you know he has someone with him - the guilts won't get you. But you'll be stronger and fresher and more upbeat when you do go if you've had a break.
I made a vow to myself when Ryan was in a coma (at age 4) that I would never enter his room without a positive attitude. I stayed upbeat around him. I never cried. I know that is not always possible or even normal, really, but especially with him being a child - I didn't want him to know anything but a happy spirit.
When my Mom was ill I did little things when I went. Took things from home or made her a card or took a little flower or something. Small things that helped in some way to lift her spirit even if only for a few moments.
Anyway, I do ramble at times. But hope you can find time to get yourself a break.
Yes, it can be draining. There's no way it can't be when you're watching someone you have loved and still love deeply leave this earth bit by bit day after day. I can't stand the thought of him lying in that bed by himself but I also have to give myself a break too. My brother doesn't go in usually twice per week, my sister likewise. And yes, I did go see him tonight. It was a nice visit because my Aunt and Uncle were there with my mom also. So, the five of us had a nice visit and Dad was really up. I brought Dad the hymnbook and the audio CD book. I also stopped and picked up a CD for him, it's hard to find choir music that he would like but I think I did OK. Anyway, it was a good day.
