Well sinclair, she just took them off the shelf and started reading them. Didnt know what I was supposed to do when she asked for them.
I have had a few setbacks over the holidays. I was set to spend new years with some friends at a cabin in TN and as i was preparing the kids for their weeks visit with mom, she informed me that she had no money to feed them for the week.
I made the error of giving her money!!!!! my mistake, but i had plans and i wanted to keep them. She asked me a million questions and i kept the answers simple and vague. she didnt like that at all.
She called me while i was away on new years eve to say she had no way to get the kids to my moms for their party unless OM drove them. We had a big fight, i arranged for my mom to go and pick them up.
Then at midnight i get a text saying "Happy New Years xoxoxo".
Women are so dam hard to figure out. What i have started to understand is that the relationship with OM is not a long term one. He lets her live at his house, he brings home dinner everynight and supplies her with smokes, pot and beer. He doesnt give her any money, not even bus fare, but he does pick her up and drop her off when she needs to get somewhere. He doesnt fight with her and they dont talk much about anything serious.
What hit me this last week was, she talks about everything serious with me, she picks her arguements with me. That is a big one, as we used to just play argue about stupid stuff to build a tension and relieve it in the bedroom. So he is fun, and i get all the crap.
What I also noticed, was that if i dont cave into her or do what she wants, she throughs him in my face and if she gets really mad will say shes never coming home.
So I am going to stay strong now. I am not caving into her demands. She has her set times with the kids. I am stressing the importance of keeping the kids on a schedule. My youngest son didnt want to spend the week with her and actually went to grandmas, so I have told her that I am not forcing the kids to do anything, i am going to give them a little freedom on the visits and them going or staying etc.
Here comes the tricky part. The kids have all met the OM and we discuss him openly at Family C. So she keeps throughing him into my face when I dont drive the kids or pick them up when her friend cant do it. I told her she can no longer rely on me for pick up and drop off. If she cant get them home after her visit then she cant pick them up. If she says the OM will drive them, then I am going to bite my tongue and not force her to keep OM away from them.
Lets face it, he obviously isnt putting to much into the relationship. He doesnt want kids, he is a bachelor and this relationship is the longest he has ever had. I dont have a lot of faith that he will drive his SUV 45 mins. each way to pick up 4 kids who do not like him and then take them back to his bachelor's house and feed them and entertain them for a couple of hours just to drive them back home another 45 mins away. This has to be done 2x a week and every other weekend. I just dont see it happening more than once or twice.
Now this could backfire on me, and he could surprise me, but i dont think so. If I call her bluff then i am prepared for him to show up here. i can deal with that i think. I know that not all 4 kids will go with her. But if she is just bluffing me and using OM as a threat to get me to deliver and pick up the kids, she will have to either find a way to pick up kids or she wont see them as often.
As much as i want my kids to see their mom, i need to let her know that she has responsibilities and i truly hope she is bluffing me and that it will come to an end.
What do you guys think about this came of chicken?
