I guesd I need to clarify what I said. I meant that I did not deserve what the OM got for the time W connected with him. It was a 2 1/2 month thing for my W. She gave a lot more than I gave for the months before that. So because of how I treated W, I didn't deserve anything during that time.

Now is different though. Because like you I am working my butt off. So is my W. So if I deserve affection, then she deserves a good husband.

It is the rare EA/PA that happens in a perfect marriage. 99% of the time the spouse goes to the OM/OW for a reason. I know why my W did. I'm sure you don't have clean hands in your situation. (Not to bust on you)

I guess I believe that my W is my soulmate but that doesn't mean that we are destined to be together. If it goes south. I may "love" again but it wont be like it was with W. I firmly believe that and feel we will always have a connection. Maybe I'm just a fool about this.

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
--Jean Jacques Rousseau.