I wanted so much to believe his words. Wanted it more than anything. Why?
Sure, the easy answer is "because we love them" ... at first pass it's how we all answer that .... I know it's how I did.
Here's where the mirror comes in ...
Hold it up. Ask her Why? She answers "because I love him". Now ask again ... look deeper ... She answers "because I ... love him ..." Now ask again ... deeper ... be persistent, unrelenting ...
She'll start to dig if you make her ...
When I did this she started to answer with the truth ...
"because I'm afraid to be alone" "because my self worth is still tied to what he thinks of me" "because if my marriage fails, I've failed" "because ..."
Those are the real questions we need "Why?" answers for ...
Looking in the mirror and asking questions is not the hard part. It's not putting the mirror down when we get the surface answers that takes work. Acknowledging that there is more than meets the eye. Forcing ourselves to keep asking until we get the truth, the real truth ... from ourselves ...
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
