Am I piecing? Just can't tell 2...

[Sad_but_happy]

Harrier... We DO deserve what OM got and more... OM has not been there for W for 20 years... Has not worked two or three jobs working 18 hour days to keep her home, has not provided a home and children and quality of life SHE wanted. There is crap on both sides of the fence. Emotional and physical mis-ques can be seen and recognized by both W and I. For better or WORSE Harrier... Don't sell yourself short or make excuses for W actions. She made a mistake and is flawed like all of us but no one deserved to be cheated on...

So we will have to agree to disagree on what OM deserves compared to what we deserve. Yes, I could be a jerk at times too, yes I wanted out of the marriage on many occasions too, and yes I left her emotionally too... But she has her demons as well. My needs were not met and I was invalidated too. We both have to grow and make changes to make this work.

W and I are better off together and I think she knows that. It's just so nice that every interaction is friendly. I never see a reason to yell. I disagree but not to the extent of invalidating her feelings. That's the key... Our WAS has opinions (as do we) and when we react harshly to what they think or say, we invalidate them. Why do that? It only makes a person feel small. Constructive disagreeing is the key!

I say validate, disagree or agree and move on... I love this new me!!! Wish I had thought like this years ago... But better late then never!!!