she is sick of me being hurtful, mean and doing and saying mean hurtful things.
I would be too if you said and did hurtful things to me for 20 years.
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May seem easy to change but it has been a long 8 months since she dropped the bomb in May
You say mean things for 20 years you have only been dealing with this for 8 months Do you think 8 months of your changes is enough to erase the hurt that she has had for 20 years?
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Tonight I came home from work and she told me she is done
Better believe that she is telling you the truth and learn the STFU (shut the f up) before you make things worse.
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I have said some very mean evil things over the holidays and that lead to the final straw.
Do you know what a controlling person is?
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So It seems to be mostly my fault.
Well if you said hurtful things over the holidays……do you think it is not your fault? You pushed buddy and guess what she pushed back. You wanna save this…then stop pushing.
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We are military stationed over in Germany so that makes it hard for her to just up and separate or leave, plus middle of school year as well.
Believe it or not…this may be a good thing. If you can keep your mouth shut, check your male ego at the door you just may have a chance at saving this.
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Tomorrow we have the marriage counseling and more chat this evening but it appears i will not be swaying her opinion.
My advice for tomorrow MC session is to KEEP YOUR F*CKING MOUTH SHUT! Listen to her complaints and I mean really listen to them. DO NOT DEFEND YOURSELF but at the same token do not sit there and admit to being a total as*. As much as possible LISTEN. DO NOT PUSH HER, DO NOT BEG OR PLEAD, LISTEN.
Let me repeat….LISTEN.
Oh BTW, did I forget to tell you to LISTEN!
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Now my question is, do I make the changes anyway in hopes it could salvage or will she take the attempts as my last ditch effort?
Changes done for the sole purpose of keeping her are manipulative and she will see them as such. Changes made because YOU really realized that you could be an as* sometime are change that you want to make for YOU so I would say keep working on them.
Scared, the only thing that I wish I could drill into your head is that DB is really about saving yourself. I came here broken and a child….I leave here…fixed and a man.
You choose what you want from all of this.
Read as much as you can. Never lose hope and keep posting.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
