I get this TAMF…man do I. What is more important is that you begin to BELIEVE in YOURSELF! BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU WANT, BELIEVE that YOU and ONLY YOU are responsible for YOUR life. Believe it and then……
LIVE IT!
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because I love him madly
If you love something set it free…if it comes back then it is meant to be. Let GO of all of it TAMF and start really looking inside yourself.
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even though I am stupid stupid to do so
Stupid has nothing to do with it IMO. If anything it should tell you about yourself. Know what I see? A women that trust and loves deeply and that my friend is not a stupid thing.
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I fear that every move I make could determine whether we get back together or not
Face this mother*cking fear and things will get “clearer”. I would love to say easier but that may not be the case. Clarity is what I believe you should strive for.
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I have deep fear that I will really loose him if I make the wrong move. Especially now when I feel like we are on the edge of the cliff.
YOU have already lost him….but not to the OW – NO you lost him to HIS crisis and only HE can get himself out of it. When you realize and accept that although you made mistakes in your M it was HIS crisis that cause a lot of this, well then you will gain some clarity.
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Do I want to cut off contact - no emotion. I just can't right this moment. Today. The end of the week? who knows. Each day is a challenge.
Ahhh….emotions – don’t ya hate them sometimes. They can suck when they attack at the wrong time. Do you know what really healthy people do (and FTR, I myself am not there just yet)? They ACCEPT that they are responsible for CONTROLING their emotions.
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I have some decisions to make for myself.
Rule of thumb….decisions made while emotionally vulnerable are usually not good decisions.
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I just need time. I need to think.
TIME yes is what you need BUT NOT TO think about HIM. No. Time to think about and get to know who TAMF really is outside of her M. Who she wants to be. Time to feel comfortable with herself. A very good friend of mine (you know her as PEI) once gave me some excellent advice…..
When you do the internal work on yourself you start by “picking up the mirror and looking into it”….but the real work is when you NEVER put the mirror down. YOU STARE at it ALL the time. Always checking yourself, always aligning your words and actions with WHO YOU WANT TO BE. In short, the work TAMF, never stops. BTW, PEI used to call me….Mr. G.
In closing TAMF, NOW IS YOUR TIME. NOW is the time for you to find what it is that you are really searching for. Now is the time for you to finally stand up and face your demons. You have been preparing for this for a very long time. Now maybe this post comes accorss as Eric has it all under control and has his chit together. Honestly, I too am holding that mirror up…staring right at that fuc*er. I too am beginning to realize just how special I am. As you know I am involved with a very nice woman these days….guess what….I’m look at this R as well and lining it up with my mirror. Being true TAMF to oneself is not easy….but then life is not easy and nor is….
TRUE LOVE.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
