TAMF's Christmas Miracle?

[TAMF]

Everything you have said Eric is true. I wanted so much to believe his words. Wanted it more than anything. Why? because I love him madly.

Because he has never talked like this or held me like this or looked at me like this since the bomb dropped. Because I WANTED to trust him. I STILL want to trust him - even though I am stupid stupid to do so.

Do I still look at my H and see the misery and want to "take care of him" - yes. I say no outloud, but it's not the truth. I fear that every move I make could determine whether we get back together or not. I have deep fear that I will really loose him if I make the wrong move. Especially now when I feel like we are on the edge of the cliff.

Do I want to cut off contact - no emotion. I just can't right this moment. Today. The end of the week? who knows. Each day is a challenge.

I am taking everything you have said and I am processing. I promise I am. I am processing everything that has happened in the last couple of days.

I have some decisions to make for myself. I just need time. I need to think.