I think you want me to say you have to be careful not to be a doormat. Not to let your spouse walk all over you especially if they're having an affair or they won't respect you. I'm not going to do that. Every relationship is different.
Speaking for myself, I believe respect is vital to a M, especially the woman needing to respect her H. Anyway, I've seen people refer to this letter from David several times in the past. I find it hard to defend as not being a door-mat response from a LBS(especially when people call DB "The Little Bo-Peep Approach"), but mostly b/c it really goes against the grain for me.....knowing how disrespectful a S can be when involved in an affair. That is why I would like for one of the mods to explain the technique to me. Then, perhaps I could pass that along. I'm not trying to start a debate, but I do think Newcomers would get confused to be told to detach in one post and to use David as a role model in the next. I don't think David was detached, but that's just me.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
