Working on acceptance and forgiveness

[AntoniaB]

TAMF you are too right on that point. I know it. A few days after my H dropped the bomb, I was on my way to my parents, my sister driving. Halfway there I got a sudden back pain. Thought I had a kidney stone. The pain was a 10. Never felt anything like that in my life. She drove me straight to the hospital. In the ER my sister tried to answer the questions for me to the triage nurse. She lost it. When she did, I grabbed her arm and I said "when you can't handle something I'll handle it for you. Don't worry." I proceeded to go into some kind of survival mode and within 2 hours my pain was gone. Ultrasound showed nothing. I had an infection in the bladder. Nothing more. I think I actually had had a panic attack that manifested in severe pain, until someone else needed me. Then I had strength in numbers.

This is why I can respond to a lot of you in a way that I can't seem to respond to myself. I don't get it. I can be an enormous source of strength for someone in need. I was that for my husband. I have trouble being that same source of strength for myself.