TAMF,

I am so sorry that this is happening to you like this. It has

to be extremely difficult. When you started this thread, I wanted

to post to you to be careful and could not get myself to do it.

I figured if your H is not in MLC, then this could be the real

deal for him to come back.

Now it is even harder to post to you because if he is MLC, he

is still in replay most likely.

This is where TAMF is really going to dig in and not have any

expectations. That is a concept that is so hard right now with

what you have experienced in last several days/weeks.

PEI went through some of this too and I know she can relate to

what is going on in your life right now.

The positive movement forward from your H seems promising for now

but the more your urge to have expectations comes back, the

tougher this is going to be for you no matter which way this

goes.

A lot of us have been right where you are now and had

expectations cause it would be the normal thing for anyone

especially us LBS's.

BUT THIS STUFF IS SO FAR FROM NORMAL!

I think you can't lose if you just keep up with the DB'ing but

with no expectations.

Remember believe none of what they say and half of what they do.

He does appear to be trying but is finding himself stuck.

That is a fight he must face and if he doesn't, he is not

done with MLC. If he is not done with MLC, even if he does come

back, the fears he must face will resurface later. YOU don't

want that either. YOU want him back when he is done with the

crisis. Then some real incredible work will have to begin and

both of you will have to do that incredible work.


Thinking about this more, he does not want to keep a strong

relationship with the OW but can't get himself to quite let

go yet. That says to me RED FLAG, he is not ready.

I would hate to see you get caught up in this just like PEI did

because the strength you will need is huge.

It seems to me that the since the BD was on 7/3/10 not enough

time has gone by yet. That would make one superfast MLC.

So again TAMF,

It is time for you to step back and watch a little.

Keep venting here, keep reading here.

I do feel your pain though because it is tougher for me

to post to you now, but I wanted to give you at least some

perspective of what I am seeing.

I have no doubt that you are up to the challenge and you

are being tested.

WS