Well, I have figured out a few things this weekend....
One~ never hold in the anger or it will just explode at some point.
two~ I am jealous that my H chooses the OW over doing something I Need. Need to work on that.
ANger, well....what set it off was asking my H too keep kids part of the weekend and when that didnt go my way and I found out that he was choosing to be with the OW over helping me with the kids when I MYSELF needed him, well, that set off the anger in me that I had been holding in for 2 months now.
It wasnt pretty, but basically everything that I really wanted to say to him when I threw him out, came out last Thursday night. He knew i was angry. He sent the kids to go wait for him in the truck because they were staying that night with him. I was upset because he was bring them back at 7:30 the next morning, that I didnt expect, so I was going to be rushing around taking down christmas and getting house cleaned and ready for my Son's bday party and having to do it all in just a few hours that night....that upset me, plus him choosing the OW. Once again HE was in control. I had it. I let it alllll out....he just stood there. I called him every name I could think of, from a liar to an a$$, plus alot more.
HE stood there and took it...then left. I felt better. I know, I need to channel that anger away from him...but I needed this. I knew he knew how I felt, I just wanted myself to know he knew...
But its done now. He came to the bday party yesterday and it was like nothing happened. We got along fine. I just really needed to get it all out and let him know how angry I was at him for EVERYTHING he did to me and our family.
So no 2x4s, I know i shouldnt have done it, but its done and over now. I have started out my NEW year right and I feel lots better going into 2011.
Hope everyone had a great weekend!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
