Still Moving Forward

[BeingMe]

Thanks everyone. I did have a fairly good Christmas. Counting the days to when I visit D30 in Germany mid-January. She's pregs with her third baby.

[BeingMe]

H leaves tomorrow for yet another long trip. I won't see him until March ... maybe. He seems happy today. Cheerful ... more so then at Christmas. So, I guess he is eager to leave home. Oh well!

Happy New Year to all and I wish that all your dreams come true, that angels will protect you, that emotional pain will become a thing of the past, and you will be healthy in spirit, body, mind and financially.

May the new year bring peace and prosperity to the planet.

[Mila]

Hi Being,
That's a long trip your H is taking....hope the space will be good for him and he will have time to reflect....and on a positive note for you....no more walking on eggshells for a while...

Hope that 2011 will be a great year for you

Hugs

[BeingMe]

Thanks Mila. He will be home at the end of Jan., but I will be in Germany for 2 months. He said he might come and visit there for a weekend to see the baby. I haven't stopped crying all morning. Don't know why in particular.

[WCW]

((BeingMe)) Hope you're feeling better today, sometimes those crying sessions can be cleansing and once it's over you get renewed strength. You've had so much strength to get to this point, take the time you need because you'll be busy with that new grandbaby soon!

[BeingMe]

I am feeling better thanks WCW. I am just going to get through the weekend, and then it's back to uni next week for me and D.

[BeingMe]

I think it was my dreams combined with H leaving on a business trip on New Year's day, that has kept me feeling emotional. I dreamed about a wedding again last night, as I did the day before NYE. It was the next morning after that dream that I cried all morning. At times I wasn't even sobbing, just leaking tears.

I leave soon for my trip to visit niece for a week in the USA, then to Europe to visit my D30 for 2 months, so won't see H for all that time. Such a long time to be separated ... usually it's 3 weeks and it sure hasn't improved our R, so I wonder how it will feel after 2 months. "Absence makes the heart go fonder" or "out of sight, out mind?" The second one has been my experience, so far.

My friend gave me a book to read, called For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. Very interesting, and I see so much of this in my H. Would be nice if men would read For Men Only to get an idea on how women think. It's all based on research from interviews and surveys of random men (and even the men in her life). There are, of course, exceptions, but apparently, this is how men think. And, my H is definitely like those in the surveys. I have started adjusting my interactions with him in the last week and he seems happier, and says he is sleeping so well. WTH!!!! Maybe it's not me, but what a coincidence if not.

[punkin]

Being,

You and I could throw old sayings at each other all day, but in the end "It is what it is" is the only one to put your money on.
Personally, I think most men are too narcissistic to care what women think. They don't count.

Don't put too much into how well he is sleeping. He just left what may be a stressful situation at home, but reality is sometimes a kick in the a$$. And no matter how far you run, you can't run from reality.

I hope you have a great visit with niece and D. Do your best to have a good time. Let him check in with you. Above all, TAKE CARE OF YOU.

By the way, I did as you suggested and wrote down my dream last night. Very interesting.

[warriorshadow]

Personally, I think most men are too narcissistic to care what women think. They don't count.

Hey punkin,

Please don't say most men.

I have read those books "For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. and

For Men Only" as Being pointed out. I have read the for "Women

only about 3 times and early on and I knew alot of it before this

thing hit. But of course MLC is not about what the LBS did or

did not do. That I am sure of now. It took almost a year for me

to recognize this. Those books are good when a marriage is in

trouble and BOTH the H and W want to work on a better marriage.

I highly recommend them for that type of situation. In my case

my W felt those books to be pressure. I do think that those

two books should be standard equipment for EVERY marriage.

It would not have stopped MLC but it could keep a healthy

marriage even better.

I know you know this but since I have read those books, I felt

a need to express myself a little since others read these posts.

Maybe I am venting a little here too because the situation gets

so frustrating and I think if men find their way here to this

site and others, that says more about them then just giving up

when it gets tough.

The good part about being an LBS, is you do get an opportunity

to look at yourself and try to see what could have been improved.

Nobody is perfect and I have my faults to be sure but MLC really

is all bets are off when it comes to the LBS.

Again, Punkin,

Please don't take this the wrong way I just keep thinking of all

the men here that get left behind in this thing and wonder WTH

happened.

Those first days of just plain trauma are just awful for any

of us that go through this. I lurked here for months and months

and when I finally started to participate here is when things

started to turn for my OWN sanity.

[Mila]

Being - I like this quote...I think that it applies to our spouses same as it applies to us

"No matter where you go, there you are"

...just a reminder that we can't run away from it all and either can our WS

The time alone for both of you will be time for reflection and hopefully working through the issues individually

Hope you have a wonderful time with your D and the new baby....enjoy