Just like most of you...

[sarahani]

So today I couldn't resist but to call him, it's actually been a while I think Dec. 7th to be exact. The reason I chose to call is because I felt we were on bad terms when we ended contact and I didn't want him to remember me that way. I know it went against LRT which I think I’m suppose to be doing according to DR but I couldn't resist any longer.

I told him that I would not keep the kids away from him as long as he promised they wouldn't be around the OW and he said deal, so let's see if he can keep his promise. I have reasons why I am so hateful about OW, she has constantly lied to me and she tricked me into doing something for "their" benefit a few months ago saying they were only friends and that she would have no contact with him and of course that was not true. She's been a handful to deal with and very conniving. It seems that every time things were going smoothly she would manipulate him into staying with her.

So our convo went ok...he showed some interest he said, every time I call you you're out and why do you still have face book when you told me you deactivated. To me it was some sort of jealousy??? Who knows I might be wrong!

We did have some R talk and he said I don't think it's going to ever work out between us again, I can never forgive you for what you did (he feels I chose my sister over him in a fight) but I will tell you that if you should ever be proud of anything in your life it should be that "you were a damn hell of a good wife"! He said he is really hurt at things that I did and that I was so irresponsible. He said being separated made him grow up and become more responsible.

He hung up on me at one point when the convo got intense and I started arguing with him that we didn't have problems and why he would all of a sudden turn things around to be my fault but called back a few minutes later.

I quickly turned things around and told him as it says in DR to do and said you are a great father and a great husband, we had a great relationship. If there was changes we needed to make to make it even better I can work on those and if he felt the same that we shouldn't throw this all away. He didn't respond.

I feel so strongly that if the OW wasn't in the equation everything would be fine between us and we would have a chance. She just won't leave him alone. I heard a voicemail he left her some time ago when we were still living together and he said "I love you BUT I'm sorry"! That vm indicated to me that he did attempt to end it but as I know her reaction didn't make it easy for him.

I'm confused now on what to do should I continue to be on good terms with him and continue the R talks or should I stick to the LRT which doesn't seem to be working that well? I think when I don’t talk about the R and reassure him that we will be fine he goes back to thinking it’s just not worth the effort. I really think he needs some “convincing” that things can be ok again.

Also, thank you everyone for your input made me realize I need to change some of the things I was doing!