FOBDs - My NYE went fairly well actually. Went to a friend's party and drank too much. I managed to keep thoughts of W and anniversary of engagement at bay for most of the night. I did get sad when the clock hit midnight bc of the meaning of the occasion and I did get sad when W did not contact me at all. I really expected that she would NOT bc of the situation and bc I knew that she was out of town on a singing gig (she's a professional vocalist), but I guess in the my heart I kind of hoped that she would. I did not hear from her bw 12/29 and today, 1/2. I have not been initiating any kind of contact. So I am discouraged by the lack of contact.
I did end up contacting her tonight bc I had spoken with my step son about taking him to a hockey game and he told me that W wanted me to call her to discuss whether or not this was a good idea. I ended up having a 40 minute conversation with her and messed up by getting drawn into R talk. In addition, I don't think that the conversation went well at all. W seems intent on filing for Legal Separation for financial reasons. If you're interested in catching up on my situation here is the thread:
I'm really sorry to hear about her NYE's Eve. That could easily happen to any of us though. I've read tons of threads on here and almost everyone has made mistakes with DBing. Really, the only thing that you can do is get back up on the horse man. I think that I made a mistake tonight myself with that telephone conversation. I also messed up about 3 weeks ago by leaving W a VM after I got emotional at church. My W also did not respond to that. Made me extremely sad. This stuff is really hard and we have no experience with it. Unfortunately, we have to learn on the job so to speak.
I can also relate to not know where W is living. My W moved out at the end of November and told me that she did not want to give me her address. She told me that she wants her privacy and is afraid that I would not give it to her. Bc I am trying to give her all the space and time that she wants, I have not asked. It is very difficult not knowing. My biggest problem with it though, is wondering how someone who has vowed to love you and be with you can pick up and leave and also be so cold as to not give you the curtesy of knowing where they are living. It's like they are trying to simply erase us from their lives. At least that is how I feel. And it feels bad.
My W is definitely a "pod person" as well. Everyday I wonder how my M has deteriorated so badly in what seems like such a short time. I also wonder how it is that I can hate my W so much right now, but also love her so much that I continue to fight for our M.
At least you got your favorite NFL team in the playoffs. I'm a Broncos fan so not much consolation there. I don't think that I missed watching but 2 or 3 games in the past 30 years, but during this mess, I haven't watched a game in 6 or 7 weeks.
Who's your team? Which Bowl you going to?
Try to stay positive. We'll both get through this and be happy again... one way or the other. Right?
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
