WCW thank you for the feedback. Yes she was actually pressing us to get married earlier. When I look back on how things progressed I feel dumb not seeing this coming.
So when I think about the beginning when we were in college we had a ton of time and spent it all together. She used to be obsessed with me. Used to be super paranoid about who I'd hang out with and all the other girls who were friends with me. When college ended and we hit the real world we just didn't have much time together. We didn't spend it together and now I know I grew distant.
A huge part of what is so important to her is talking and having somebody who listens to her. For the first 5 years of us being together I did this exceptionally well. In recent years I didn't give her my full attention when we would talk (I'd be on the computer typing, playing video games, etc.) and this drove her nuts. I didn't text her much before or sit down and talk with her when we were at home.
So part of my 180 is to be a very attentive listener without offering my opinions and to just talk more. It is a 180 that kind of goes against the grain with the contact thing but without any talk of R or feelings that part has been going well. A few days I went totally dark and only spoke when spoken to but that made her think I was mad at her so I went back to IM'ing and txting. I generally don't initiate though.
Me being mad at her is another issue in itself. I have grown serious the past few years and generally just look pissed off. The vast majority of the time I am not but just look that way. As a result she often thinks that I'm mad at her or disappointed. This is a very hard one for me - I obviously don't want to look upset but it is hard for me to change. I just look serious and somewhat mean in my facial expression. I've gotten this feedback from multiple people as well but don't know how to fix it.
The past week has actually been great for us. She's been baking me stuff like crazy in the kitchen and we've been spending some good time together. We've gotten coffee, gone to the movies twice in one week and have been playful and cheerful together. She's even had some physical contact with me here and there (nothing sexual) just touching the arm and hand etc. I'm trying my best to keep it light and funny as this week she mentioned that my humor was one of things that attracted her to me.
I added this lot of stuff because my original post is over a week old but never came through.
