Need advice and support to keep hope

[Denver_2010]

Are you wanting to actually drop the rope...or do you just want to pull back and detach and be unavailable, etc., etc.? If you can sort that out in your mind, then the goal might be more focused.

BTW, I sure hope that 2011 will be a wonderful year for you and your family.

I hope that 2011 is wonderful for you and your's as well Sandi. Thanks for your thoughts, and I think that you are absolutely correct. And got me to thinking about what my strategy actually is.

I had been thinking of detaching and dropping the rope as one and the same. Maybe they are not?

I have had one session with a DB coach and the goal that we came up for me over the next few weeks (my session was about 10 days ago) was to begin having more contact with W and getting the contact to be more friendly (as opposed to stuff that needs to be addressed). She did advise me not to initiate contact with W in anyway, but to keep in contact with step son. Coach and I did not discuss detaching or dropping the rope. Those things are strategies that I have learned from this board and have been trying to accomplish for my own sanity... so I don't hurt so much over situation.

I guess that I'm unsure of how to simultaneously pursue these two things. As you said Sandi, I can't detach and/or drop the rope if I'm trying to have friendly/warm conversations with W. And I don't see a way to meet the goal of working towards friendly and warmer conversations with W if I am dropping the rope and detaching. I'm a bit at a loss as to how to proceed. What do you think Sandi? I'd appreciate feedback from others as well.

Thanks,
Denver