Good stuff about the work situation on several threads. I was a university professor for a while, but quit to start a consultancy business. I realise now that my h had a very ambivalent attitude to this. He is a well known academic in his field, but a chronic underachiever relative to his ability. However as long as he was ahead of me [I started later due to family and other stuff] he was fine.
He liked the money I made, and our lifestyle, but trivialised what I did - very subtly, so I didn't realise it. It wasn't overt belittling, just a sense that it was commercial and didn't require too much thought. Interestingly my children picked up this message, and it wasn't until their friends were impressed with what I did that they started to think about it . .
Anyway, I also had the accusation that my career came first, and all of that stuff. However what is interesting is that he really doesn't like not having as much money. He actually thought, I believe, on some level that I would continue to support him and OW!
I think they are very insecure, and underachieving. This is partly lack of confidence, and a willingness to try [sometimes tied up with laziness]. But it isn't their 'fault' - it has to be someone else.
As long as they are feeling OK about themselves it all works, sort of, but when they become insecure - life transitions, getting older, death of a close family member, the boat is rocked, and they are thrown off kilter, and need someone and something to blame, because that is the way they operate.
Only this time it was a big one, and they decided to junk the marriage.
