Thank you for your perspective as someone who is M'ed to a workaholic.
Originally Posted By: seeking answers
Could it be that that is the only thing your H could find to use as justification when the urge to run overpowered him?
Yes, I agree with you. Since H didn't reconsider his D action when I quit my academic position (5 months post-bomb --- D wasn't final until 15 months post-bomb), it would appear that what you said is true. I think there is more though. After reading, thinking, and talking with Jody over the past 2 years I really think that H/XH uses socializing as his "drug" to treat his unresolved childhood loneliness --- to fill the void left when he wasn't able to attach with his mother in a healthy way. He seems to have a compulsion to schedule activities every day of the week. He is a "good guy" and typically gets lots of strokes from people. He gets cranky if he doesn't have something scheduled.
The tipping point for H/XH I think occurred when his BMF (a real estate agent) started working 60 hours/week and didn't have time to spend with H (BMF had only worked ~30-35 hr/wk before and was always available for fun). This happened about 6-8 months pre-bomb and I think H/XH didn't have the clarity of mind to realize what happened. At one point, a couple months before the bomb, H and I talked about this and I said "Is it possible that you're feeling off balance because BMF is working so much and you don't have someone to do things with like before?" H looked like a light bulb went on and said "Yes! Maybe that's it." But I think that BMF convinced him otherwise because later, H said he didn't think that was why he had been feeling down.
