Positively moving forward

[awest1217]

Happy New Year to Everyone!

I don't really have any new year's resolutions. I never really do. I am just going to continue living and getting stronger.

My voice is now gone. I can talk some, but it is not very good and I have to start work again tomorrow.

New Year's Eve was fun! A bunch of us dressed up and went out to eat and then to church. I wore a skirt from high school which was a little too tight and so did a few other friends so we were all sucking in and hurting, but good memories.

H text me a lot up until he had S on Friday. Even Thursday while he had S, H kept texting me what should I do questions. Like S won't eat what should I do? S isn't acting like himself. What should I do?. Yea S isn't himself because last time he was over there it was a bad experience because you wouldn't let him come home and made him spend the night and he didn't want to. Also now he expects gifts all the time. Friday nothing and even didn't text me happy new year after he asked me to text him when we got home (although it was 50 so good weather and we live 5 blocks from the church). I said that I wish him well in 2011. However yesterday he was seen by one of my friends with OW so that explains the not texting. I am sure he will text some time today or tomorrow, but once again back to intermittent. It was a mutual friend and he wouldn't even say hi. He did the same to my SIL, but she said hi so he had to. She didn't want to say hi either, but thought it would be rude not to.

Still nothing from my L so I am getting a little worried. The D is supposed to be final in two weeks. I hope it doesn't get postponed. Fingers Crossed.

Otherwise, I have a normal day today. I will say that I am feeling the itch to date very badly. I want to just be out there on a date with a guy. I was telling a friend that I haven't be without a guy for this long since I was 14. My normal was I would date a guy for two weeks, then we would break up and I wouldn't date another guy for 6 months so it isn't like I went from guy to guy, but I have been separated from almost 2 years and haven't had even been semi with H in a year so it has been a while. I don't feel any romantic feelings for H anymore. I care about him and still get upset about the lying and cheating just because it hurts, but not because I want to still be with him. I just think it is stupid to keep lying about everything even when I caught. Just live a life free of lies, and I mostly hate it because his lying affects S. Me...not so much. I will still have my sad days, but mostly because I miss my friend who does not exist anymore. He was my best friend and I miss that person. So anyway I am ready to get out there...I just wish there were guys around here who were available and not so young. I know when the time is right.