I was in the adoration chapel by myself tonight doing some grieving and prayed alot. I prayed for all of you and about the pain and loneliness I am enduring. I wondered about finding someone else to fill the void in my life, and the message came to me clear as a bell. Don't do it.

My WAW is still conflicted and needs excuses to do what she's doing. She would just love it, I mean really love it, if I found some other romantic interest. That would free her to fly to her midlife fantasy world.

I remember vividly the restaurant on bomb day. Leading up to her revelation about her exH: "Don't you ever wonder what so and so is doing and wouldn't like to get back in touch?" (I was engaged twice to two other GF's before marrying W) She also referred to my Bday in August where we were out w/friends and I got hammered (50th you know) "I think that waitress really had an eye for you"

Yes, so she wants me to find an OW, to justify some of her choices. So here I am stuck in this nether world waiting, just waiting. This is not just a legal issue, or an emotional struggle, it is a spiritual battle.

Me 53 XW 50
M 18 Years +2
S14 D19
Bomb 10-24-10
Served 1-27-11
Mediate 4-21-11
Civil D Final 6-2-11
No church anullment
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."