it makes detaching and dropping the rope so much more difficult than if I just didn't talk to her at all.
After all those pages of conversation?
This is not to discourage you, but you aren't detaching and you certainly have not dropped the rope. For example, if she was a pesky relative or neighbor that you really didn't want to engage in conversation--b/c you were much too busy and frankly just didn't desire to discuss anything with her..........then, you would never get into a chatty contact. (That is, if you were detached or had DTR)
Yes, it's good that she initiates the TM....as long as she isn't looking for a fight about something. But you need to keep your sentences limited, words limited, and time limited. If she starts in to eat you out about something.....you end the TM right then. Don't be a jerk, just say you've got to go or whatever you'd tell a pesky neighbor. Don't rehash things in the past... or discuss how all the family stuff is now....especially in a TM. Why? B/c it is taking up your attention,your time, and [color:#FF0000]drawing you into her. If that rope is dropped....then she can't pull you in to her. Does that make sense in what I'm trying to say?
Imagine how things might have been handled if you were moving forward and had indeed dropped the rope. Everything would run off your back and you would have been on your way. She would not be able to do any pulling b/c that rope had been laid down. That is what makes the LBS more attractive-- b/c he is unavailable to the WAS. She wants what she finds very difficult to get.
I'm not saying you haven't made progress, but I'm trying to clarify these two techniques. It's easy for me to say, but much harder for you to instill.
It's difficult to explain how a woman'[s mind works, but if she's finding excuses to contact you (and it's nothing negative) then it can be seen as her being interested. To what degree....we don't know. She could be curious, but any interest is better than none at all.
So, I hope you don't misinterpret what I've tried to explain. Are you wanting to actually drop the rope...or do you just want to pull back and detach and be unavailable, etc., etc.? If you can sort that out in your mind, then the goal might be more focused.
BTW, I sure hope that 2011 will be a wonderful year for you and your family.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
