DBing is hard, had so much hope for this year, one day in and i'm rocky mountain already.
H stayed at a friends the other night, has been unwell but seemed okay, when he gets home i so loged to see him wanted to jump right into his arms and hear how he missed me as much but alas just a dream, when he got home he greeted our D gave me a quick hug and then went straight online, i'm sure he's having an EA he lives online, its NYE i have baked and prepared some snacks, he was so busy online the new year came and went once i'd realised i said happy new year pured us all a drink and went to give him a toast, he just says 'oh yeah yeah happy new year, put my drink down i'll have it later' and continues 'chatting' online :0( my heart feels like it is harding which for me is worse then breaking as once i dont care anymore theres no going back.
H finished early today as its th first day of 2011 (woop woop :0)) again ive missed him so hope w can spent the evening together as a family, watch a dvd i got and spend some quality time together, again just a dream, H gets in i'm upstairs with our D2, he shouts up hello, i shout it back, i go downstairs 5 min later to find he stil has his jacket on but is online already!!! WTF!!! i'm so mad i just go straight into the kitchen, he couldnt even take his jacket off first! he says he got the shopping asked for, i'm just really short with him i know i should be DB but i cant muster te strength im too angry but usualy i would blow up at him and complain whereas at least i am biting my tongue, he pretends to fall asleep whilst online (i know he is pretending as he 2 sconds ago changes the tv channel) so as he is sleeping i go upstairs to lie down with our D as i too am not wll (caught their flu) H comes up about 30 min later complaining as to why did i leave him downstairs i cant help it im angry so i have a dig (i know naughty me) i say to him "well you were online doing 'whatever' so i left you there to keep doing it" he comes and lies down with us D is between us so i am happy.
Whn i wake up or should i say get woken up by D i get us something to eat and prepare a plate for H who again does not eat it (i dont know maybe he things i'm trying to poison him, i'm not just for the record) again i feel mad so have dinner when he asks to lie down with him (he is still in bed from early i brought dinner to him) i tell him i cant i have things to do and promptly leave the room, i was telling a half truth i have to get hs uniform ready for tomorrow as he has to leave earlt for work and i want to get the dishes done.
