I've thought about H's childhood quite a bit and my only thought is that H controlled things to a degree at home with his family. His parents are passive aggressive and H used his strong determination to do what he wanted.
To be honest I didn't see signs of this with me until later in our marriage. I read Antonia say something similar in relation to her H and her work; that as she progressed career wise then issues became more apparent.
Thinking back I don't remember too many issues but then again I didn't need controlling as I was probably self controlled. AS a people pleaser, I probably did everything i could to keep H happy, although subconsciously. We worked together in our business very successfully but when I look back I see that I did a lot in our business but I let H claim the accolades. (No wonder life was smooth!!)
When we sold our business I returned to re-establish my career. H was happy with that but perhaps as I grew more independent, establishing friendships and developing a career path this would have shaken his self esteem and security?? When I was sick he was in control again and all was great but it was as i started to get well that he started his A.
So is ow much more needy than me? I really don't know but I'd say so. H seems to keep her at a distance. I have no doubt that he control her, too. I've seen her in action and she definitely has him on a pedestal.
As for the phone.... the contract is due for renewal in Feb. According to S, H has already organised his separate account so I think this is just an essential rather than a control thing. It's just interesting that it was written so politely when he has been in a more controlling phase of late. I haven't replied at this stage....
Maybe it does me good to keep posting because even as I write this I wonder why I'd want him back??????
Btw, GAG, MIL phoned last night to wish us a happy new year. She chatted happily. I deliberately added H's name to the conversation twice but of course didn't speak about current issues.
