I honestly do not know where I would be if I hadn't had this board to turn to in the last year. The special group of people here have been my saving grace many times over and I am blessed.
How are things? The holidays are kind of a strange time when you're going through what we all are. From what I've read on some of the "old-timers' " posts (OK, I guess that I'm fast becoming an "old-timer" around here ) the holidays kind of disrupt the patterns we've established with the MLCers.
Hope you are well.
2011 lies before us. Anything can happen in our situations over the coming year, and we will be here for one another when it does.
Yesterday morning H sent out a text letting everyone know that his cousin who has been sick for a very long time, passed away. H was his legal guardian. I have helped and supported H in his decisions regarding his cousin and his long term health care for many years. Up until the BD.
Anyway, the viewing and funeral is on Monday evening. What I have decided to do since my sister is friends with the funeral home director is to have her arrange with him a time I can go in Monday afternoon and pay my respects. I know there is no way I would be able to take seeing H and ow standing there together.
I was very close to H's Aunt, his cousin's mother, who we helped so much through her son's and her own health problems. I know she would understand why I'm doing it this way. It would break her heart to know this was how things ended up between H and I.
From what I understand ow is very clingy and has no problem with letting people know H is her's now. I know my limits and I accept the sitch, but I don't need or want it in my face if I can avoid it.
I think that sounds like a wonderful plan, and so lucky you have a connection through your sister to do so. I believe you and I are on the same page as far as limitations. ((HUGS))
seeking, will you get an opportunity to talk with your aunt-in-law in your plan? Wbile I understand why you made your plan, it would also be a good time to show your strength to your H and ow. That doesn't mean making a scene, but why slink around like you have done something wrong?
Some of my toughest times were attending the same functions that I knew ow would be at but looking back I am so glad that I did not let her throw me out my own life.
((seeking))
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
SA, do what you feel you should. If you cannot handle seeing ow, then dont. Your choice, your life. Just make sure you make the decision from a position of strength and not of fear, ya know?
) the holidays kind of disrupt the patterns we've established with the MLCers.