STBXH wants to show kids what a "real family is"

[MeMyselfandI]

Journalling. I know I'm not getting a lot of responses but it helps me to just write these things down and let them go. I spoke with S & D this morning, wished them a Happy New Year. Both were very grumpy and seemed pre-occupied. I don't know if something happened at last night's party they were at and I have to let it go. They will tell me if they need to and I'll have to cross that bridge if it comes.

Here is a bit of history on why I say this. They were over at STBXH's friends (used to be mutual friends and still are to some extent but he spends more time with them.) Anyway, this is the same house they all went to last year for New Year's Eve and the wife and her D (who is 1 year older than my daughter) proceeded to tell my D that STBXH and I were splitting up and one of us was moving out. Obviously, STBXH had told them plans. We had not yet told the kids so needless to say, my D was devasted. I spent New Year's Day last year trying to help her get through and was extremely angry at what these so called friends had done. I confronted H on it and was angry and he simply said "it's not my fault, I didn't do it and I can't control what they said."

Fast forward to this summer, there was an incident that I didn't find out about till afterwards, but the same family was involved. Their D approached my D on the school ground and told her that my STBXH was dating her auntie. I had heard the same rumours and really didn't think too much of it. Whether he is or at that point was not my business I felt.

About a month later, we were discussing possible babysitting arrangements for the kids during each of our activities on the weeks we have them and I had suggested, during my evening out, he could come over to my place to watch them and during his evening out, I could do the same. Well, he said he thought it was good progress on the co-parenting front, he wouldn't want hurt feelings if either one of us came across something in the other one's house that we didn't like. I responded, conversation went something like this:

ME: I know you are in a new relationship and that is your choice to do what makes you happy and I wish you well.

STBXH: Thank you for your wishes but I'm not in any relationship.

ME: Sorry, that's what your friends told me.

STBXH: Nice of you to imply that my friends are not my friends.

ME: I'm not implying anything at all, I was just repeating what I heard.

STBXH: And therein lies the problem. I've already had to deal with a situation where D has been told the same thing on the playground. It's one thing to say these things but completely different when you start telling your children who then tell our children on the playground at school.

I never responded to his last email as I was a little flabergasted as to how this was my fault or even how the conversation got so side-tracked.

Anyway, sorry this is long, just needed to get it out. No contact today, may call kids back later to see if they are in better spirits though. I get them back tomorrow and can't wait, been missing them like crazy the past couple of days.