He is not ready for a full-on relationship with his father right now although it appears that H may have made a resolution to step up his contact there as well.
Hi Irish - I've been reading along for most of your posts and you should be very proud of yourself for the personal progress you have made throughout this difficult journey.
You are doing great and you will only get better from here. Certainly you are learning to become less co-dependent, understanding that you are on a journey to finding what makes you tick - what makes you an authentic, whole woman - those things that are inside you.
One thing I’ve noticed in your posts is a little bit of a propensity to continue to involve yourself in your son’s relationship with his dad. Irish, your son is 17 now and just as this is a journey for you about how to speak for yourself, set boundaries, define relationships – so is it a journey for him. This is a good, albeit painful, lesson for your son in how to develop mature relationships with men who are close to him. Boys/young men need to learn that stuff for themselves. It’s a critical part of becoming a man.
Step back from that relationship Irish. Let your husband and son work it out. They will have to live with whatever falls out of this for the rest of their lives and it’s up to them to figure it out together. I can see you want to protect your son. I understand that. But as our children grow up, we have to trust that we have instilled the values that will set them in good stead for the future. You need to trust now that your son can develop the relationship with his dad that he needs – and as painful as it is for you – that’s between them, it doesn’t really have anything to do with you.
Blessings for the New Year.
V
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
