I think when H changed his automatic deposit and opened a new account, leaving me with nothing, it hurt me worse than even the physical betrayal of the affair. After all, we were a couple for 20 years. I always took care of the finances and had built the security that we had. It hurt deeply.
That attachment of the same account, if I understand correctly, this is the first time anything like this has happened. Perhaps you should just ask him his reasoning before going to the extreme of removing his name from the account. It's a link he has apparently not been willing to give up, perhaps it's just a misunderstanding. If not, then, by all means go ahead. I just changed accounts and opened a new one of my own, so he couldn't accuse me of anything.
