Cat04 We started at 15 and 16 going out. Activities such as going to football games, hanging out, going to movies, talking, going for walks. Then sharing our jobs and where we were going in careers, kids etc. Building a family together. I hear what your saying about being in a room together but no connection. But 1 1/2 years ago we would still watch TV together and just be cuddling. I would say we were in a bonded committed relationship. She for whatever the reason has started following these feelings which come up in "MLC" and I think believes are real and is acting on them. What I told you above is the complaints she has. Suggestions other than the Space, DBing etc. I'm at a loss here other than getting a life without any expectations that this will turn around. Are you looking for anything more specific than above. She says she still cares for me and always will but they are just words and her actions don't back that up. She thinks moving out is her only answer for her. You can't make somebody look inside themselves and deal with there issues.
Did she ever date other guys or mostly just you? I have seen cases where the couple started dating each other young, get M, and then years later decide that they might have missed "something" by not dating more people.
There has to be more to this. Even if it is MLC, I think you would have surely seen some sign. Like I said before, a woman doesn't get up one day and decide she wants to leave a M unless there is something out there that is pulling at her.
Was the GF around at the time you noticed that kiss without any feelings?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
The reason I say it is MLC. 1)she has cut off her Mom and sisters totally 2)she has cut me off 3)She had a major anger toward Mother, sisters, kids and me for approx 4-5 months 4)She missed all the fun things in life and is excessive about looking young, exercising etc 5)Started hanging at bars with girlfriends
If its not MLC(maybe WAW)she has alot of signs associated with it. At this point there is no other guy that I know of but this one girl friend. they have been friends for 7-8 years but got really close when she was having trouble with husband. Can't the lure of breaking away from resposiblity, freedom , moving out on your own be an MLC?
Also she definetely went through denial for a while, then the bomb, anger towards everyone. Blames her problems on everybody else. Yes, she dated a couple people before me and we also break up for a year over college and then got back together.
I guess its possible she just fell out of love but I can see the progression of denial, anger and now replay. During the early part of crises she did a couple touch and go's but nothing stuck.
Can't the lure of breaking away from responsibility, freedom , moving out on your own be an MLC?
Yes, but the WAW syndrome is so similar to MLC that it's hard to tell at first. If there is no OP in her life, then it could be MLC. What is the age of your W?
You spoke about the GF having M problems, has she left her H also? When two women get together and start sharing how unhappy they are....and it leads to male bashing....they can talk each other into making choices that they ordinarily wouldn't do. They feed off of each other.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
GF is in process of leaving/divorcing. My wife is 44 years old. Starting menopause as well. A little background: She had plastic surgery at 38, tummy tuck. We worked out a lot and she didn't like the sag. I was OK with it. Our connection seem to grow emotionally and physically from this. Probably due to how she felt(sexy) because she got the body back that she wanted. I will say she became more concious of how she looked. She has always said I was perfect husband for her and most of the friends we hung out with told her too. Now I think she resents me for it. She is acting opposite of the way she was for the firt 20 years of marriage.
Cat04, I feel almost like an MLC expert after having gone through it. I don't see how it is anything else but I could be wrong. I would like my wife back but she is moving out tomorrow. She knows I don't want this and would like to work on marriage. I don't harp on the subject. At this point I can't make her stay noe do I want to. Seem like this is her journey and I'm not invited. Am I sad? Hell yes. Teras come to my eyes at various points and i am actually about 1 1/2 yrs into this how thing looking back. I will keep coming here journaling but this is frustrating as she does not seem to be looking back at what she is leaving.
Well she just left and I am here crying. This kinda [censored] even when you have a grasp of whats going on. She spoke to my oldest son and said she need to make six figures, become the CEO and go explore the world, but that she would still love him his brother and sister. WOW. To say I don't know this woman anymore is an understatement. Thoughts anybody? I know I will bounce back but it is not this day as my emotions are all over the place.
You said you had come out of a MLC, how did your W deal with things when you were going through it? How long did it take to get back to feeling like yourself again?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
