I failled horribly...

[Denver_2010]

FOBDs - I just saw your post on another thread, want to respond, but don't want to hijack the other thread anymore. you said...

"On a bit of a confused note, I am not sure how to feel about something that recently happened. My wife was always been very fit. She went to the gym regularly and watched what she ate. During the holidays, I had moments where I had private conversations with three different family members and friends who have all seen her in person in the past two weeks. I don't know if they were trying to make me feel better or if they were sincere, but they all, without provocation, delivered to me the same message. My wife has put on a tremendous amount of weight in the past couple of weeks. One of them stated that they ran into her in a public place and that she was dressed poorly, looked tired and as though she has put on about 10 - 15 pounds (The night she showed up for her mail, I thought she looked a bit different. But she was wearing a heavy coat and I just thought it was the coat that was making the difference). What was really odd it that the particular relative who pointed this out never talks about such things, ever. This is the first sign that I have gotten that maybe my wife isn't doing as well as she would like to me to believe. I am not happy about this or celebrating it in any way. But I truly thought she was out "living it up" since she walked out on me. Maybe that isn't the case after all. Am I a jerk for finding some solace in this? If so, I apologize in advance to all who read this.

Denver, Happy New Year, my friend! 2010 is almost over and good riddance. This year cannot be far enough in my rear view mirror. I wish you the very best in 2011. May it be much happier and healthier than the past couple of months. I hope you and I can find ourselves happily married again very soon. Take care of yourself and stay in touch."

Thanks for the NY's wishes. I'm sorry to hear that we share this as an aniversary for our engagements to our wives. It's going to be rough, but I have to admit that I'm going to go to a friend's party and try to have as much fun as possible.

In response to you hearing that your wife has put on weight and may not be doin as well as she is trying to make you believe... H*ll no you shouldn't feel bad for feeling some solace in hearing this. I saw some pics of my wife on FB from xmas day and she looked like hell too. Looked like she may have been crying and was definitely forcing a smile. Maybe it was wishful thinking on my part, I don't know. Either way, I don't think that we should feel badly for seeing or hearing that our wives may be feeling pain over the destruction of our marriages. The do say on here that we should believe zero of what we hear and 50% of what we see from our Ws. Of course they would like us to believe that they are fine and not feeling any loss. I simply don't believe it though. Our Ws are losing a significant part of their life, just like us, eventually it has to hurt.

FOBDs - Here's wishing you a Happy New Year! I sincerely hope that 2011 is much better than 2010 for the both of us. It couldn't be much worse. Keep keeping us all up to date on your sitch. Talk to you soon.