This Storm Shall Pass

[dolphin_05]

Hi Beatrice, I can relate to much you have written.......

We reached an agreement nearly a year ago [the divorce is past its 2nd birthday now] and since then my h has been stalling, while insisting he really wants the divorce [he started proceedings].

This has been exactly our situation. H has insisted all the way through that I was stalling but we would discuss and negotiate and when it came time for signing he would have a blow up and be uncontactable for days and then say it was too late. Now he's saying I refused to give him documentation. I got the documentation and told him I had it, and we even had a date to complete it together. He worked on that day but made no effort to reschedule.

I have suggested discussing this over the phone, face to face, through his lawyer, through both of our lawyers, as well as through mediators.

I did the same. It resulted in H dropping his lawyer and representing himself; which was him sending abusive emails to my lawyer which cost me a lot of money and had no resolution.

I have been told repeatedly by him that I am delaying things, and they are all ready. None of this is true.

That's my experience!

I understand your need to stop posting, although this can be a useful outlet in times of stress

I am not sure of my wisdom in not posting but I am sure that I have to just let H go to do his thing. Perhaps that is key, not stopping of posting. All I know is that I have given so much time and energy to H and his family for no return.

please do get a wonderful lawyer whom you like and trust. It makes such a difference to feel that they are in your corner and protecting your interests. They know what is reasonable and unreasonable, and it really really helps.

I am concerned about this. She is a nice lady but i am not feeling confident and H certainly feels he can walk all over her. He thinks she hasn't got a clue.

You will likely have some very hurtful accusations, but know enough to realise they are not really about you.

I have had those accusations when we tried to settle before. His perspective is just warped and he made himself look like the ultimate bully. I did take offence but this time around I realise it is him trying to save face and reassert his power.

And the relief of this long nightmare finally being over is making me feel almost lightheaded. I never wanted the divorce, but now I want it very much because it represents my h's final attempts to control and manipulate me.

ditto!!

Beatrice, thanks so much for sharing your experience with me. It certainly helps to know that others have had/are having similar experiences. For quite a while there I thought it was me. I think H had me convinced that the issues were mine although he does have occasions when he acknowledges that he has 'issues'

Good luck with your pending case. I wish you the speediest of resolutions so that you can move on to fully create the life you are wishing for.

Cas