Kaboom

[girlfromipanema]

Special K,

I never have a hard time understanding you; you explain things perfectly.

You are right. I am always careful to try not to hurt him. He hasn't shown me the same courtesy, obviously.

I haven't received a copy of a proposed "no contact" letter yet. I didn't bring it up last night. I attended the funeral of my friend and wasn't in the mood to discuss anything, and h didn't bring anything up either. He watched some T.V. and then read some of "Not Just Friends".

It was his birthday, and I didn't do anything for him other than wish him a happy birthday. I'm trying to be kind and courteous (as you would treat a stranger) and I've been mostly successful, but I feel like every day is Groundhog Day. I go to sleep feeling a certain calm but when I wake up all the emotions, anger, betrayal, etc. are brand new...

I did get a 'vibe' from him that he was upset/irritated/agitated that I was taking such a firm stand. He liked it a lot better when I was letting him co-pilot, and it's an uncomfortable adjustment for him to allow me to take the wheel completely.

I feel our roles have finally reversed.

I still struggle with knowing what I want. My concern is that I have lost too much respect for him.