I am not giving up on my M, just realize that the past is the past and I can't change that. I am working on DB and will continue to do so. I do think that if I filed right now I would feel like a quitter, and I am not a quitter. I am remaining dark, and go days without talking to H. I only talk to him about D and otherwise do my own thing. I know that giving him his space and time is what I need to do for me. He thinks it is for him, but you know, I feel it is for me. IF he ever decides he still loves me and wants to work on the marriage, I will have had the time to decide if I want to work on it as well. It will be something we both have to agree on. Only time will tell. I have let go and have really felt at peace with that decision and I am in control of my life. I know I will still have bad/sad days, but mostly, I am looking forward to enjoying my life and my D. I have a clear mind and H is the one who doesn't. I am looking forward to finding a job and focusing on making new friends, single friends that I can enjoy some time with this year. I am not looking back, only forward. Today my D left to be with her BF and his family for the weekend and I am taking down Christmas decorations and the tree. I am going to clean house and start the New Year with a clean house and working out tomorrow.
I hope everyone has a great New Year's Eve and a prosperous, healthy and happy New Year!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
