I guess I see things differently than some others on here. Mad? You bet I was! For awhile I tried the DB techniques...
Lorie,
Believe me, we all have gotten angry over this sort of behavior. Who wouldn't?
DB techniques work when you give them time to work. Are they going to save your M? Maybe, maybe not. However, they will save you and definately make relationships with other people (any type of relationship) better.
Originally Posted By: golfgirl1
I filed immediately because I didn't want to end up in financial ruin like many people have. My advice is to be smart, be selfish, and do for YOU! Have that PMA for YOU! Who cares about the lying, cheating man that he has become. MLC or not, it's disrespectful and why should anyone be treated like that?
While filing works for some and that is truly the business end of it...
Do not ring a bell that you can't unring.
No one is saying to allow yourself to be treated like a doormat however, it is possible to find a less drastic solution that works for you, until the time comes when you want to do something else.
If I had filed right away, I know I would have felt like I had quit. And quitting for me, was not an option. I spent quite a bit of time standing for my M, and when I stopped standing, I can honestly say that I did everything possible. I didn't quit. I have peace in my heart over it.
That is what you should feel if it comes to that point. IMO.
Originally Posted By: Golfgirl1
There is a great life out there for you. So, you decide what you want. Put H in a little box on a shelf somewhere and learn all about you. You'll figure out what to do.....
This I agree with.
Shift the focus from him to yourself.
You can do this without being selfish or totally giving up on the idea of a restored M.
Patience, with yourself and others, is a virtue that you will learn through this journey.
Time really is your friend. It is a hard concept to believe, especially since we spend so much time playing "beat the clock" in this world...
It is the best friend you will have through this entire thing.
You will get more responses, the boards slow a bit on the holidays and weekends. Keep posting and venting and journaling.
Welcome to the best worst place to be.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
