SBH

First of all, I am not a psychologist. However, I'm going to tell you what my IC told me about talking to your W about your needs. Honestly, I believe that is why I am where I am.
I know this might fly in the face of DBing. But he told me it's okay to communicate your needs to W. His tact was this...say something like "I'm upset that you haven't done....XYZ. I know you aren't in the same place as me and I don't expect you to suddenly do something that you aren't ready for, but I just thought it was important for me to communicate this with you. I know you need time." etc.

Of course you run the risk of your W saying "What is his problem, we spoon, hug, spend time together."

For me I did this for two things with my W - sleeping the same bed and the lack of physical intimacy (for me holding hands, hugging, saying ILY). And of course she had the reaction to it like I was impatient and ready to move things along faster, but I assured here I wasn't. It was a risk for me, but my IC said one of my problems is that I didn't effective communicate my needs with W.

Of course, I didn't hound my wife daily about it nor was I depressed about it all the time. I just brought it up once each time when it was really getting to me. I didn't yell or scream. I was pretty calm and straightforward. That was it. I believe that it got my wife really thinking about why she was still wanting to sleep in separate beds or why she was not being physically intimate. And within a week of both of my talks, my W switched her thoughts on these items.

Of course to some extent it was me doing something different because usually I just tried to downplay my emotions about things. My W said she really respected me for talking to her about it in a way that was more "Adult."
I'm not recommending this course of action, but it's just some food for thought.

Also to add to what Sandi said, my W said to me last night, 'You are so much more attractive when you are happy." Her actual words. Again, they do notice even if they don't say anything.

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
--Jean Jacques Rousseau.