I'm sorry that your wife doesnt see what a good father you are. It amazes me that a mother would not want their father in their children's lives as much as possible. I would love nothing more than my h to be part of my son's life and have done all I could to facilitate that to no avail.
Anyway, I know how hard it is to still be in the same house. I did it for more than two years.
And the divorce process is going on 9 months for me so I know of where you speak.
Here's the thing, you need to always remember that she is in crisis. Not to give her a free ride or to take any of the ownership off of her actions. It is only for you to understand that she is not going to react in the way that a 'normal' person would.
She is inside her own head. She cannot see outside of it. You are the enemy in her mind.
So, with that understanding, you become able to stop yourself from going in circles with her. That does nothing but make you dizzy.
Going round and round about the parenting agreement serves no purpose. You have to dig in and wait until it is spelled out legally.
If you feel you must, explain to the kids that you are working on figuring out how to best handle the arrangements and leave it at that for now.
When you have more info, you can give them more info. Just be sure to let them know that you and their mom always have their best interests at heart and are doing the best you can during a difficult situation.
And try as hard as you can not to get into these arguments with her, Eric. The more you argue, the harder she is going to come at you.
You wanted to sleep in your bedroom, you set the boundary and that's ok, I might have laid right down next to her. But that's me. Hee hee.
Your children are watching. To them, it doesnt matter who is right or wrong, just that they are safe.
I know it's hard. I do. The sooner you accept the crazy and stop being so surprised by it, the better off you'll be.
Find happiness in small things. Pray. Enjoy your children. Be the man you have become.
Live your life, Eric.
You've been through tougher stuff. You gotta dig in a little deeper, but as you said to me - you got this. I am here if you need to talk.
